#my goodbye takes forever
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My "saying goodbye to The Tree" song, @eames-with-a-rose :')
#music#eisy speaks#is it normal that I feel so damn emotional right now?#yeah I think it is#I think I've been here for at least ten minutes#my goodbye takes forever
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SHERLOCK | Martin Freeman as John Watson
#inspiration for creating gifs was the wonderful @meandhisjohn#twelve years have passed and this episode is still vivid in my memory as if I watched it yesterday#It’s unbelievable how much pain a person can endure and this episode is a testament to that#the moment john a fierce defender stands ready to strike down any who dare speak ill of sherlock is pure brilliance#the moment they run in handcuffs is beautiful#truly two against the world#and it’s so sweet how john takes up all the space on the couch completely comfortable while sherlock sits patiently beside him#when sherlock saying goodbye to john forever is seared into my soul#It’s a moment that never leaves me a reminder of the depth of their connection and the pain of their separation#martin’s performance in that call is a masterclass in conveying raw emotion#the pain in his eyes speaks volumes a symphony of anguish that lingers long after the call ends#It’s a moment that deserves to be immortalized a testament to the power of his artistry#and the last thing I’ll say is#john’s soul is that of a soldier forged in fire and tempered by hardship yet always clinging to hope#martin freeman#benedict cumberbatch#bbc sherlock#sherlock#john watson#sherlock bbc#mf/serial
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im joining @teethburied with his gifsets for gaza!!
>> HERE << is the original post by him
if u donate €10 or more to THIS fundraiser u can send me a dm with a screenshot of ur donation + whatever type of gifset u'd like!! <- im sticking to skz gifs but any era / member / mv / really anything u can think of + ill make it to the best of my ability (^:
my gifs for reference
90-ghost verification
the fundraiser is currently at €2,332 / €15,000 please donate if u are able so we can help Mohammed and his family!!!!
+ to other gifmakers if u are able please consider joining in to help 💜
#depending on how many requests i get (if i get any sdfkjl) it could take maybe up to a week for me to post? perhaps... jobs are evil :^)#but ill do my best to get them out quickly!!#gonna put as my pinned post say goodbye to luna eating leebit forever!!!!!!!!!#bystay#stray kids#skz#edit bc i added gifs to this :>
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remembered my doomed weslah(?) post-nfa au that i can only describe as "wesley is an unofficial third to a semi-retired frunn who are now hippies in portland and also lilah is there"
wes grows a depression beard and gets really into building birdhouses. sometimes lilah, still liaison for w&h, shows up and together they're the most sexually tense couple at the farmer's market. (lilah makes him shave the beard)
obviously lilah decides that she needs to insert herself into this non-throuple in order to make wesley jealous and admit that he cares about... something. other than birdhouses.
anyways every visit inevitably ends with lilah being called back to work by the senior partners. she only gets to snag brief moments of freedom before she goes back to work, and every time wes has to say goodbye to her all over again he gets all morose and guilty about it.
and i think it's ultimately about hanging onto guilt and loss past the point where it's helpful for you because it's your last connection to someone, even though it's keeping you from living your life in the present, because on some level the idea of being happy feels like a betrayal. and trying to figure out what moving on even looks like
#weslah bug going around stay safe everyone#realizing doing these little doodle rambles is more fun and easier for me than writing fic so maybe i'll do it more often#anyone's free to run with these ideas btw please take them off my hands#angel the series#ats#wesley wyndam pryce#lilah morgan#weslah#but also vaguely frunnsley. it's complicated. not a throuple but not NOT a throuple#art#also i think it's lilah realizing that wes can't move on when she keeps showing up without warning in his life#i see her basically saying goodbye forever and then wes doing the whole 'i don't accept that' and going on a crusade#that brings both of them to effectively the same situation they started in BUT emotionally able to reach some kind of closure
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Hii and can you please write how nikto would be with a S/o who is sick? It’s completely okay if not ! Have a lovely day :)
Oh my gosh!! I would love to! Sorry you had to wait until I got off of work, but I was thinking about this all day!! No content warnings. Reader is gn. Enjoy!!
Okay, so here's the thing with Nikto. I feel like he's cold and distant with most people. So if he's deemed you "not important", then he'd probably just tell you to get over it and stop being a crybaby.
HOWEVER! Lucky, lucky you have been deemed "most important" by Nikto's tumultuous mind, so this is not how he's going treat you. No, my sweet wonderful reader. This man is going to pamper you. He's going to be at the bedside, medicine ready. (if you're like me and hate the taste of cough syrup, he's got a glass of juice to help you swallow it down.)
You're his darling, and Nikto is going to make sure you stay in bed and rest. He's going to bring you soup. The first day of soup is premade, but the rest of the time that you're sick? Oh, he's made a huge batch of homemade soup, just for you. And it's delicious. He even went out of his way to get fresh made bread from a bakery, so you've got the best meal. Nothing is too much for Nikto.
He'll bring you clean clothes, if you need to change out of your current pair. He'll bring you warm blankets, or a cold compress. Hell, he'll let you snuggle with Sputnik all day, if that's what you want.
The only thing he won't let you do is snuggle with him. As much as it pains him, Nikto can't risk getting himself sick. (He's one of the guys that refuses to admit when they're sick, and it's like pulling teeth to get him to rest. So, just let him have this.)
But he'll spend time in the room with you. While you're in bed, sleeping or watching a movie, he's sitting by the window, cleaning his knives or knitting a scarf. But don't think he's not paying attention to you. Nikto's aware of every sniffle and cough, every quiet sound you make. He wants you to get better, to feel better. Because the sooner you feel better, the sooner he can kick Sputnik out of bed and cuddle you instead.
#call of duty#cod nikto#nikto x reader#i love our big scary russian man. and i love him taking care of us.#i think once he's deemed someone important then he'll lay down life and limb for them. because he doesnt have very many people in his life#and if you're his so?? oh buddy!! that man is locking you away forever! goodbye society! hello russian countryside!#ask box#my writing#hope you enjoy!!
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scrolled a little too far back on mogetwt and found pure gold:
#i miss mitsumona… i love asumona y e s but mitsumona~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#‘where were you when this part of idol sengen was being serialised?’ trapped outside due to regionlock s o b s#man… looking at idol sengen on piccoma again like. gosh. 7.9 million hearts/likes so trueeeee#which do you think we’ll get first: mitsuki mv (a la gijirenai) or idol sengen s2?#the crumbs we get of her in mona mvs isnt enoughhhhhhhh aaaaa#even a 1 image mv would do!!! just give us a tiny bit more of her plsssss#i wanna know what made mona such a huge fan of hers~~~~~~~#though. the way mona specifies that she only likes girl idols will forever be funny to me#she really can’t care less about lxl huh… so true of her tbh#girl idols are a m a z i n g (<-weakling who tears up while watching love live live recordings)#like. man. props to the casting directors or sth bc. m a n their stage presence is unreal for idol vas#like waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa if you told me the vas were idols themselves id believe you#rkk was so cute. and aik.yan was super cool (esp during her solo) a n d ain.ya was both cute and cool and!!!!!!!!!#but um!!!! i digress!!!! anyways stan girl idols (esp mona) lxl w h o—#i think i’ll forever be envious of those who’ll be able to watch nan.su’s mona oneman live though… no foreigners allowed (how sad)…#though y’all should def check out some of nan.su’s other songs!! her powerful songs are so cool (imo)…#but i think she’s actually really good at singing songs with cheering/chanting portions lmfaooo the monachan lives on#i think hw should give mona more cool-ish songs though… let nan.su show off her range!!!#though. while im on the topic. i think sena should have cool songs too. narumi sisters cool song p l s s s s s#(bc my hot take over here is that hw doesn’t let their vas show off their full range *c o u g h s* i m e a n—)#what am i even on anymore h e l p started on mitsumona ended up in narumi sisters cool song desires…#anyways!!!! stream silent sword (both the og by ama.miya sora and the cover by nan.su) that’s all goodbye
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i have officially returned. ask me anything.
#random thoughts#i'll probably answer it tomorrow because i'm tired. i don't know why.#ciel if you see this i've been nicer to myself these past few days following your birthday. taking care of myself in general aspects.#which i sort of hate myself for but it's okay because. uh. i won't be like this forever. i'll be better at what i'm trying to do i promise.#new year's resolution is not fucking with me.........#oh also!! i've been sort of feeling like a dead person at times. and also like a cockroach. i have had to repeatedly tell myself that#i'm not dead i'm not dead!!!!#because i'm not. obviously. and i know i'm not. my brain is just silly. it likes to tell me i am things i am not like book characters.#and recently my mother got me my own rosary and we've been practicing praying together with my brother.#can you imagine how bad it must be for me to turn to christianity as a coping mechanism? not even when i was terrorized with death thoughts#not even in august for fuck's sake.#but it's actually not that bad. though i think i like the idea of organized religion more than i like being a part of it.#also i feel like my being catholic (mostly non-practicing) is betraying the queer community somehow. like. queer people have suffered#so much because of the christian church in general. so it's like. being christian is weird when i'm also queer.#but also then i feel weird when i try to do things in relation to christianity. like. put saint in my artist name.#that feels blasphemous i don't know. is it?????? it's not that serious either way but. augh.#i am going to write a song about this. also fellow christians is it okay to use the lyric 'uselessly clutching her rosary' or is that bad?#because i mean. technically. the she i'm referring to sort of is. because god isn't solving any of our problems.#he's just fucking. watching. if he's even real.#(and no my disappearance isn't related to the catholicism thing it's something else. as in the one thing i haven't told anyone else but cie#and an irl friend. if you are ciel then i am completely open to talking about said thing.#otherwise i will continue to drop cryptic little notes on my blog because I AM SILLY. {: )#going to play roblox now and maybe say hello to you fuckers on discord for a bit of fun. goodbye.
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life update! and other things
hello everyone :D
im going on hiatus till i am freed of my (mental) burdens and attain inner peace after a feature film length journey of solitude and soul searching complete with several plot twists and a training montage.
goodnight x
hello again :)
i am indeed going on a hiatus for the duration of september to study for 2 major exams i have that will determine the trajectory of my career forever. such fun!
also as soon as i finish said exams ill be starting third year nearly right after so thats another quasi hiatus. ill pop by every now and again because this place is my blanket fort and i love the friends i made on here dearly (ive adopted some of u lol) so yeah ^-^
in other news, today i went on a lil date with my platonic soulmate and we did things. enjoy:
i told her very briefly all about my greek mythology hyperfixation and watched the light leave her eyes as i explained how exactly zeus was a 'family man' lmao
P L U S H I E S
we passed a back to school themed stall thing right as she was telling me how she was trying out & obsessing over drawing with charcoal. we went for a look (famous last words):
friend: ok so this many pencils for this much. count with me me: *blue screen of death* ...this means? friend: this means im buying it >:) ... me: *still processing* friend: the girl math is girl mathing me: XD
(for reference shes an engineering student and im a med student. i do not do the calculations in this relationship lol)
anyway yes thats all from me. have a good morning/afternoon/ evening/ rest of your lives and ill be seeing you whenever x
#this is my goodbye#<-epic brainrot still going strong lol#anyway love yall#take care of yourselves#treat your kidneys right and drink water pls#*glares at mirror*#another gem from today:#telling my fren i want to buy her a plushie (its tradition atp) to which shes hesitant so i say its a birthday gift :D#our birthdays are in december dear reader. she reminds me of the fact and i pull this move:#its an early gift bc what if they arent here by the time december rolls around? 🥺#she says theyve been on display forever so theyll probably survive a lil longer#me: *realisation hits* ah#friend: laughs#me: maybe i do have anxiety#friend: laughs harder
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go my act 6 secret
this is knight :) "they don't look like a knight" not anymore :)
(transcription: "polite :) i think this kind of face shading is cool :3" "smth smth sword of damocles? to keep with beheading :) cutting his own head off [gestures vaguely] failed his duty as a knight idk" "design idea: fully clothed / like. clothing covering every inch of skin. taking anything off reveals a lack of anything beneath the clothes (veil has same effect)" "yes ribbon no veil / no ribbon yes veil" "how draw corset. fuck." "i like this silhouette / it also hides daggers :)" "add dagger scabbard with no dagger inside somewhere?" "main thought" "smth embroidered into the shirt instead of a chest mark... but What..." "(pretend that looks cooler)" end transcription)
some bonus doodles as well just for notes!
(transcription: "bald! (debating beardedness)" "metal / leather" "velvet-y material" image 2: "> {... Who are you.}" "... Why don't you unveil me and find out?" "(sounds like a ghost. interpret as you wish)" end transcription)
#ns.tiff#isassassin.zip#bonus ideas: the ribbon around the neck is based on that one story about the girl with the ribbon around her neck where at the end when she#-gets married she goes 'ok you can take the ribbon off now' and when her husband takes the ribbon off her head falls off#to keep with the beheading theme! :)#pretty much every thought revolves around beheading and the general theming that has for a knight. teehee#as for the outfit itself; it's funeral wear! mourning something or someone. who? sniles.#the one out of place thing other than the embroidered sword hilt is the corset; which is metal!#it's patterned like that for a very good reason :3#ok i think that's all of my design notes for knight. goodbye forever
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feel like I need a round table meeting about MBARBYC once the last chapter gets posted from how much academically stimulating it was writing it. like. give me a podium with my two three loyal readers to analyse the shit out of merlin and arthur in this fic. make me do research questions about parallelism and narrative style to discuss with them. otherwise I won't be able to get the crack that was this fic out of my system
#I would in essence write my MA thesis about it#but then I might get thrown out of my university forever and kiss education goodbye#it would be worth it tho right?#.. right?#like.#who the fuck ever woke and thought “hey. how about i mix playwriting with novel narrative”#what the fuck#i don't take drugs but my mind is naturally on something close#merlin#bbc merlin#merthur#merlin fic#ao3#arthur pendragon#king arthur#merlin bbc#fic: my breaths are run by your compass#regulusrules fics#round table attendees open in comments
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I ONCE KNEW A MAN WHO HAD FIRE IN HIS EYES // BLOODY RIGHT HAND, HE HAD TAKEN HIS ENEMIES' LIVES
taglist (opt in/out): @shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart, @vvanessaives, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman, @celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister, @dameaylin, @killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose
#cp2077#edit:ambrose#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#not to worry he's managed to retire now :^) goodbye forever and ever stupid arasaka he is thriving without you#arasaka twisting the narrative to their own hand to trick people in doing dirty work for them is something that makes me soooo#ambrose fully believed what he was doing was to keep the city safe. to keep the 'game' (read: corporation pissing contests) fair#make sure no secrets would end up on the streets and protect people that way#and then over the years he started to realize they were simply using him as a weapon and nothing more and it's so. weegh#how do you come back from that. what was there left for him to do. he was already balls deep in the corporation nowhere to go#no home to go back to and boom then you're suddenly also a dad taking care of a young orphaned girl. from a mission YOU failed#AND you're struggling with early stage cyberpsychosis on top of all that. and then after retiring from special ops arasaka wants you back#i would have just died on the spot right then and there. tbh#anyway yes hi hello first time using my taglist i'm scared but hi :] ambrose is my late 40s babygirl
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tonight I tattooed some lemons (Sam did some of the fineline ones)
#red said#as part of our breakup jay left me their tattoo gun to try out#which is. insane. cause that's like an expensive piece of equipment and yeah hopefully we haven't like. said goodbye forever. but still.#but like they were always gonna teach me to tattoo and we never did that so they said hey take the kit do what you will#i understand you're meant to start on fruit so hey. lemons.#I'll do a few more lemons then see about getting some skin-on pork#I've gouged up that first lemon a bit but you know what it's not bad for my first ever attempt holding a tattoo gun
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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Cammy went on a trip for a month to meet up with old friends and told Harvey to do the same. So, Harvey had to fend for himself socially without his emotional support fairy and he realized, "Hey, I can do this. I don't need to have Camellia with me all the time to do these things I've been afraid to do....but I do *want* them here."
For Cammy's side, they realize that it's nice to have a home to keep coming back to. The fairy village used to be that, but Harvey's garden is their home now.
And yeah, I cry, what of it?
#its a canon event. but in the back of my mind it would also be the moment they realize how much they love each other#but thats between me and you#ill say this is harvey around 28 when the garden is more homie. hes on his feet now and has a clearer memory of old friends and family#so he would reconnect with cammy's push since cammy travels around alot and makes a lot of friends and tries to visit whenever possible#but cammy doesnt want to be his crutch forever. harvey CAN stand on his own. he was just afraid to take the first steps without em#he doesnt reconnect with his family eli and his parents until 29 ish. he has the means to do it but#there is a fear he cant describe that kept stopping him#cammy goes along with him for this. to meet eli and even fly to the philippines with him to finally see his parents again#THATS where the canonical ending of the narrative is. when his trip to the philippines is over and says his goodbyes#it ends when he says like 'i have a garden back home to take care of' credits roll#and then we have an open ending for all the fanfic writers to interpret and fight about#grow as we go#harvey#camellia#comic
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Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:
fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure
ALSO-
*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!
#ALSO DO NOT READ THE TAGS IF YOURE HERE FOR A GOOD TIME!!!!#ENDED UP VENTING AGHHHHH- (<- amongus ref in 2024???? l+ratio) (no but seriously stay safe; im not sure if i should add a cw???)#no but like the cars themselves?#FOLDED-#ive seen photos of worse ones of course lol (ty internet <3)#but we´re all in agreement that if it had hit anywhere else at that speed it wouldve been BAD Bad-#like; severe injury to the leg at least; drivers door wouldve crumpled; thankfully it hit the tire mostly#our car got what seems to be the lesser damage and theyre still debating if it counts as total loss xd#also oh goshhhh#so i usually go and say goodbye to my dad when hes headed to work; i did it that day as usual; car was already halfway out the driveway#my dog also loves to go and she was already in the car#but my mom (taking my dad to work) said she´d need to stop by the store after dropping dad off; so she handed her back to me#last minute descision-#my dog is a small kinda elderly chihuahua and wouldve been on my mom´s lap when they crashed#no seatbelt for her obviously#she wouldve gotten injured so freaking bad if she was there ):#overall feels like we dodged a life altering accident by a hair#i wasnt even in it and im still shook hahaha#i always go say bye to dad if hes leaving for work no matter if im pissed off or sad or whatever#half out of habit; half bc i know anything could happen at any moment and id rather not have been too proud to say goodbye#dammit im crying now hahaha#saying again; everyones fine!!!!! please remember to hug your loved ones !!!!!!#shut up sheo#but oh gosh too many reminders of death as a constant recently#that happened about a week after a cousin died; i hadnt seen him in forever but his family went to our church growing up; he was my age#it was a dull and distant pain even then to hear the news but it still hurt; i didnt go to the funeral#did go to the one a couple days later tho; for a family member i truly didnt know; it was a car crash i think#a special kind of heartbreak from meeting his mom and seeing his kids running around#now that i realize it; as im writing this; i hadnt stopped to process just about anything hahaha#freaking sobbing at 9 in the morning smh!!!!!
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joel mchale in the american housewife finale btw. as cooper's dad that's crazy.... AND jim rash is still here playing that waiter who sucks at his job and is a huge cunt <3 i miss community....
#community not being easily accessible on netflix has really brought the vibes down bad#i mean. i can still watch it easily it's on peacock which my sister pays for so she can watch all the harry potter movies#because she's too good for dvds now i guess.#speaking of harry potter being on peacock. and this is such a pointless tangent i'm just thinking about it now#the like. icons? for the movies. they made them each a different color on the website and they're almost all the wrong colors#i saw this like two months ago or something and it pissed me off so bad for no reason#how idiotic do you have to be to make the first movie blue and the third movie yellow. can we take this seriously.....#again this doesn't matter and doesn't affect me i'm just saying that's crazy. BLUE? for the sorcerer's stone? you've lost your mind....#everyone knows those movies are: 1) orange 2) green 3) pink 4) teal 5) red 6) green 7/8) gray. let's take things seriously#don't argue with me about 3 being pink. you don't get it#this is like when tmi got new covers in like 2017 or whenever that was and cofa was suddenly green..... hello.#anyway. the original point of this post. was that i'm finishing american housewife#goodbye forever katie i love you deeply <3#do not have a clue what sitcom to watch after this. might just like. kill myself. idk
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